母妃的过世加上这些事情的真相，那几天是真的崩溃。好像自己活着就是没用的事情，整日脑子里全是一句话活着好累。恨不得每天都那样躺在床上，可是他并不能那样做，因为他要起来吊唁他的母妃，要悲伤却又坚强的出现在父王的眼中。
顾清这一路都没有怎么说话，只是听着他的故事觉得眼前的这个男人很是悲伤，连背影都充斥着阴霾。就像那时候的自己。
得知了自己的父母竟然是起兵谋反的罪人，自己的祖父竟然是亲自平息这场祸事的人，顾清就不敢想象祖父到底是用了什么手段，自己的父母又是在什么时候有了那些念头和他们生活在一起的顾清全都一无所知，那样的感受让顾清觉得窒息，但又无可奈何。
“然后呢？”
“啊？什么然后？”
顾清耸了耸肩，“然后就是你现在和你弟弟的关系不是很好嘛？全世界都相信你已经死了，但是他却坚信你没有死，还要找到你。”
“嗯，他是唯一一个坚信我没有死的人，也是唯一一个求着让我活下去的人。我没办法死，就算前面是悬崖，后面是杀手我都没有办法去死，我会拼尽全力的活下去。”
“你活得很坚强，也很会演戏啊！”顾清打趣。
“并不是这样，我仍旧活得很懦弱。”野利仁迟看着顾清的眼神认真到不能再认真，“我以前死过，他求了巫医救我。巫医给了他一个办法，子母蛊。巫医说那是唯一的办法救活我。可是如果我没有求生的意识，没有挺过来那么他也会一起去死。”
“我听到了，他没有任何犹豫的选择。所以这个世界上只有他是我最放心的人。”野利仁迟说得很平静，像是在说别人的故事。
不过野利仁迟对于顾清的坦白让顾清很吃惊，忍不住又笑起来。“我不是很明白在这样环境中成长的你为什么会愿意对我坦白这些往事。”
“交换。”
“什么？”
“作为我知道了你是顾清这个秘密的交换，所以我对这次的谈判真的是很认真的。你不会明白那是一个怎样的皇城，生活在里面的人太苦了。林茂才和林胜贤对我们太重要了。我为我之前的莽撞向你道歉。”
顾清沉默着，看着也听着。思考着眼前的这个人到底有几分真心。
“作为你和我的私下交换，我要知道给你传递消息的那个人背后的关系网。你可以先考虑清楚，如果想通了，明早再来找我。到时候我会想办法说服孟将军在进行一次谈判。明天早上是最后的期限，过了时间你也知道我一直和皇城有直接联系到时候消息传回去你就再也没有任何机会了。”
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